Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She said her name was "party"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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