She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
