Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
