i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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