My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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