Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
