the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
