Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize