Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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