eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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