I just threw up on my dentist
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize