I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
high people should be assigned attendants
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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