well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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