Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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