i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
