He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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