Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Never joke about your clitoris.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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