i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's never too late to be topless.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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