i think i have two assholes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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