ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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