We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
