I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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