it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
