Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
