yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
