I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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