Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize