I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize