A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
