we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just gargled with NyQuil
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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