we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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