I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
