A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize