Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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