I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
