8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize