this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
