someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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