Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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