i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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