Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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