Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?