I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
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I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."