Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
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I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.