You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Im part way to drunk.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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