I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
