you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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