So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
