How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
