dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
