For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize