If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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