i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
