I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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