Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
