idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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