It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize