I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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