So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
